Rock Midlife with Confidence: Healing, Energy & Self-Love with Dr. Ellen Albertson | ANEW Ep 17

Welcome to another transformative episode of the ANEW Body Insight Podcast, where we explore the powerful intersection of psychology, nutrition, and mind-body healing. In this episode, co-hosts Dr. Supatra Tovar is joined by the one and only Dr. Ellen Albertson—internationally known as The Midlife Whisperer™.

With over 25 years of experience as a psychologist, registered dietitian, and national board-certified health and wellness coach, Dr. Albertson is a leading voice for women seeking clarity, confidence, and vitality during midlife. She brings a unique blend of clinical expertise, spiritual wisdom, and personal resilience to this deeply honest and healing conversation.

Dr. Albertson shares her compelling journey through breast cancer recovery, her evolution into a Reiki master, and how she embraced mindful self-compassion as the catalyst for total transformation. We discuss the emotional and energetic challenges many women face in their 40s, 50s, and beyond—from menopause and body image to burnout, identity shifts, and grief.

Drawing from her bestselling book, Rock Your Midlife: Seven Steps to Transform Yourself and Make Your Next Chapter Your Best Chapter, Dr. Albertson breaks down her evidence-based seven-step framework for reclaiming your power in midlife. You’ll discover:

• How to reprogram limiting beliefs and tap into your authentic voice
• Why mindful self-compassion is more effective than willpower
• What it means to raise your energetic vibration and how that impacts healing
• How to navigate hormonal changes with nutrition, movement, and mindset
• The role of spiritual practices in overcoming trauma and emotional stagnation

Whether you’re navigating perimenopause, managing emotional eating, or seeking deeper purpose, this episode is packed with practical strategies and soul-level inspiration to help you rock your midlife and beyond.

✨ Don’t miss this uplifting and deeply validating conversation with one of the most integrative and compassionate voices in women’s wellness. You’ll walk away feeling seen, supported, and equipped to start your own journey toward empowered healing.

🎧 Listen now—and get ready to step into your most vibrant self.

To learn more about Dr. Ellen Albertson, visit The Midlife Whisperer website, check out her book Rock Your Midlife on Amazon, and follow her on Instagram at @the_midlife_whisperer and Facebook at Dr. Ellen Albertson.

 #midlifewellness #selfcompassionjourney #rockyourmidlife #womenover40 #traumahealingtools #emotionalwellbeing #energyhealingwork #holisticwomenhealth #healingaftercancer #vibrantmidlife #transformyourchapter #reclaimyourself #spiritualwellness #ane

Thank you for joining us on this journey to wellness. Remember, the insights and advice shared on the ANEW Body Insight Podcast are for educational and informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making any changes to your health routine. To learn more about the podcast and stay updated on new episodes, visit ANEW Body Insight Podcast at anew-insight.com. To watch this episode on YouTube, visit @my.anew.insight. Follow us on social media at @my.anew.insight on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Threads for more updates and insights. Thank you for tuning in! Stay connected with us for more empowering stories and expert guidance. Until next time, stay well and keep evolving with ANEW Body Insight!

Transcript

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Welcome to the ANEW Body Insight podcast,

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empowering and inspiring your journey to optimal health.

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Hosted by Dr. Supatra Tovar, clinical psychologist,

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registered dietitian, fitness expert and author of Deprogram Diet Culture:

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Rethink Your Relationship with Food, Heal Your Mind and Live a Diet-Free Life,

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and Chantal Donnelly, physical therapist and author of Settled:

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How to Find Calm in a Stress Inducing world.

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We follow our guests’ journey to optimal health,

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providing you with the keys to unlock your own wellness path.

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Tune in and evolve with us.

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Hello and welcome to the ANEW Body Insight podcast.

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I am Dr. Supatra Tovar.

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And I am Chantal Donnelly..

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We are super excited to have

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Midlife Whisperer Ellen Dr.

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Ellen Albertson with us today.

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Hi Dr. Ellen, how are you?

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I am great.

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I'm so excited to talk with you all.

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Oh, we're so excited to have you here.

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I'm going to read a little bit about Dr.

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Ellen, and then we're going to get right into our questions.

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Dr. Ellen and I have,

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our backgrounds are very, very similar.

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She's one of the only other psychologists, registered dietitian,

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that I know in, in this country.

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She's also a national board certified health and wellness coach.

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She's also a Reiki master and mindful self-compassion teacher.

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She is known as the Midlife Whisperer.

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She helps women raise their vibration so that they have the energy, confidence

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and clarity to make their next chapter their best chapter.

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She's a bestselling, award winning author, inspirational

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speaker, and expert on women's well-being.

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She has also appeared on Xtra!

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The Food Network, NBC World News

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and she's also been quoted in Psychology Today, Eating Well, and USA today.

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She has written five books and articles

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for Self, Better Homes and Gardens, and Good Housekeeping.

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Her latest book is Rock Your Midlife: Seven Steps to Transform Yourself

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and Make Your Next chapter the Best chapter.

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She brings over 25 years of counseling, coaching and healing

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experience to her holistic practice and transformational work.

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She lives on the Champlain Islands of Vermont with her high tech, raw

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food loving partner Ken, and her tree climbing border collie, Rosie.

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she also has a home in Costa Rica, which we are all very jealous about.

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she is also a breast cancer survivor.

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She was diagnosed in 2022 and finished her treatment in mid 2023.

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We are so glad you're healed, Dr.

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Ellen and you're with us today.

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Me too.

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And I'm going to bring you guys a little bit of pura vida.

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So what we we talk about in Costa Rica, it's

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just this feeling like, you know, life is good. Yes.

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Love that, love that. You are known

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as the Midlife Whisperer.

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I have to say, as a woman who is 55,

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I think I need a little whispering to my midlife 

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screaming, personally.

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so I'm really glad to talk to you.

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I'm very excited about this conversation.

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Wondering how you got inspired to help women in their midlife.

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And also, you mentioned that you help women raise their vibrations.

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can you

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explain what that means and how that all came about?

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Sure.

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Well, midlife women actually found me

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so when I was a little dietitian 30 years ago.

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Everybody coming to me, they were all midlife women.

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I was an outpatient dietitian.

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And let's face it,

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if you haven't been taking care of your body, that's when your body says hello.

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High cholesterol, high blood sugar, high blood pressure or weight goes up.

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I don't feel like myself, you know, brain fog, insomnia.

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And that was your 30 years ago.

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Like nobody talked about menopause.

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Like, I don't even remember my mom.

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Like, even mentioning it. Right?

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So all of these women were coming to me with their

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Dr.s, would send them and say, you know, go see the dietitian.

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and that's sort of how I started working with men, like women.

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The only problem was, and I don't know if, Dr.

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Tovar, you, you know, you resonate with this.

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I did not have the skills to help people to make behavior change.

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I was like, okay, eat this, don't eat this.

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And we're going to become a dietitian.

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The science was really different, right?

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We were all not eating any fat, and sugar was okay.

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Hello?

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but I didn't have the skill.

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So gradually, over time,

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I spent a lot of time working in the media. My ex-husband

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and I were the cooking couple in the 90s, so I was a celebrity chef.

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But then I went back and it became a, personal fitness trainer.

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and then I went on to become a board certified health wellness coach

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and a psychologist.

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And so really, it's been a 30 years of, learning more of the science

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and learning more of the skills of how do I get people to make changes.

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And that was a big pivot point for the place of self-love, not self-loathing.

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That was another thing. As I learned as a dietitian.

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It's like everybody should like, eat less, move more, kill yourself, the gym,

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go any starvation diets,

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and of course, nothing that never work because it's not sustainable.

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It's not the way the body works.

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And so I really had to do a big 180 in terms of my whole nutrition

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philosophy, my whole, you know, philosophy of how I work with people.

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And the pivotal point for me was discovering self-compassion.

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So I was fortunate enough when I was getting my PhD,

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my dissertation, I wanted to help women with negative body image.

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I realized the media does not do us any favors.

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It tells us that we have to be thin and young to be attractive.

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And the most important thing about is is our looks.

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And if we're not those things, we don't feel good about ourselves.

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And so we go on these cockamamie diets, kill ourselves at the gym,

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and then we starve ourselves, and then we binge and it goes on and on.

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And I was like, whoa, this is not good.

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So I actually developed an intervention using self-compassion.

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we we took a group of women.

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I recruited about 500 women.

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Half of them listened to meditations that were self-compassion meditations,

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and half of them were controls.

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And when my research showed is that body shame, body

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dissatisfaction and body self-worth based on appearance went down

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and body appreciation went up as women learn self-compassion and practice.

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So that was a, in a nutshell, how I've kind of work with midlife women.

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Of course, I went through midlife myself and went through empty nest,

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divorce, blindness, breast cancer, the whole nine yards, really.

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The caterpillar to the butterfly thing.

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And now I’m having the time of my life.

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So I feel like I've become my avatar where I'm just having so much fun.

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I feel so good.

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Which brings us to the energy piece, which is really my philosophy,

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so much more about forget about managing your weight and your food.

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Let's manage our energy.

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Yes, our energetic being.

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And so yes, eat to feel good, to be high vibe.

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You know, it's not just me sort of being woo here.

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When we look at quantum physics, we really see that

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every single old matter is spinning very, very rapidly.

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And so are you.

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And you might be feeling

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like you're spinning in midlife menopause, but your cells are spinning very.

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You are energy.

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And so our thoughts, our food stress, all of these things are impacting

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our energy level.

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So essentially you want to try and help women do is manage their energy.

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But the interesting thing is they don't know if that's what they need.

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You know I think like just please help me sleep.

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Help me with the brain fog, help me with the weight loss.

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But it's like if we take a step back and we think about how do we feel?

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Good. Because if you're feeling good, your energy is good.

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How do I increase my capacity, my resilience,

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which is really about increasing your battery

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so that you can feel good, do more, be more,

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have a bigger impact on the world and just really enjoy your life.

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Be healthy.

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Amen.

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I am with you all the way on that and I definitely resonate

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with everything that you went through

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when you were a dietitian all the way through what you were doing.

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Now, you and I are definitely soul sisters

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in our journey and it's so amazing to hear.

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It's like,

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you know, just kind of like

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hearing an echo come back at you and just really loving that.

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Tell us about Rock Your Midlife the seven Steps to Transform Yourself

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and Make Your Next Chapter Your Best Chapter.

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It has gotten significant attention.

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I would love you to give us the overview of the seven steps

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and how they can transform a woman's midlife experience.

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Well, I wrote the book to help more women.

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First of all, because, you know, I can only coach so many women.

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And I also wanted to tell my story having gone through midlife.

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So let's go over those steps.

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So the first step is to know yourself,

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if you don't know yourself, you can't be on your path.

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You need to know your strengths,

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your weaknesses, what you like to do, what you love to do as a kid.

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And so it's so important because when you don't know yourself,

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and I think this is a lot of our cases at midlife,

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it's like we're climbing up this ladder of success.

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We get to the top of the building, we look around and we're like,

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why am I not happy?

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I did all of the things I was supposed to do.

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I'm running around trying to please everybody else.

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I'm doing all of these things that society tells me are going to make me happy.

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All of this sort of, you know, this patriarchal

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being has our brains thinking a certain way that I gotta beat myself up.

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I gotta be better,

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be skinnier, be a better mom, be a better wife, be a better worker.

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And we get there like, this is not working for me.

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So what you need to do

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is really get to know yourself and what really makes you happy.

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Because when you're happy, you're gonna have such a bigger impact

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on everyone else. You've got to know yourself.

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And when you know yourself, it's like you're on your path.

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Like every day that I live, I don't think about, you know,

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I mean, I guess I think about where I want to be in four years.

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Five years, all that, you know, long term planning.

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But I'm really every day on my path, doing what I love to do and helping people

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and being lit up. So you've got to know yourself.

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That's the first step.

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The second step.

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We touched on a little bit and that said self-love, self-compassion, peace.

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and I really feel like self-compassion is the practice that you do

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to amplify the self-love.

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And it's simply treating yourself like a good friend,

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being kind to yourself rather than judgmental.

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And if you're listening for a second, think about if you have a good friend

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who has been through some kind of difficulty.

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They felt embarrassed.

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They've had an argument, a fender bender, or a health crisis.

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What do you do? What you do for your friend, right?

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What's your tone of voice?

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What do you do? What's your posture like?

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Then take a moment to think about what happens with you.

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You know, when we felt we felt inadequate, like what do we do?

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Like, you know, you mentioned like I got breast cancer, right?

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And I was like, why is this happening to me?

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What did I do wrong? Instead of,

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oh my God, you weren't thinking just kind of breast cancer diagnosis.

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How can I support you?

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so we learned to be kind to ourselves rather than judgmental.

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There's an active component in self-compassion.

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We also learn common humanity,

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which means that we know that, you know, shit happens.

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The Buddha got it right, like.

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But he looked over the wall and he saw people were dying.

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People were getting sick, people were impoverished.

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It was like, oh my God, this is the reality

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is that like being a human being is tough,

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then we don't feel so isolated and alone when things go wrong in our lives.

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And then the third piece is mindfulness.

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So when something goes wrong, it it can be a small thing.

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It just happened a bad day, you know, you get an email that you know

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or you forgot to balance your checkbook or whatever it is.

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You know, somebody gave you the finger on the highway.

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You guys live in Los Angeles and it's like, what do I need?

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Never happened.

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We try not to go on the highway.

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We just we stay in our bubble.

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But, you know, you ask, like, what do I need right now?

00:11:32:22 - 00:11:35:01
And it is a game changer. And it's a practice.

00:11:35:01 - 00:11:37:14
So it's something that you do every single day.

00:11:37:14 - 00:11:40:12
You think, you know, today I want to be my own best friend.

00:11:40:12 - 00:11:42:02
Today I'm going to work on that, you know.

00:11:42:02 - 00:11:43:21
And we think we need our self critic.

00:11:43:21 - 00:11:46:12
We think we need to beat ourselves up to succeed.

00:11:46:12 - 00:11:49:20
But what the research really shows is that when we criticize

00:11:49:20 - 00:11:52:23
ourselves, it's very de-motivational.

00:11:52:23 - 00:11:56:18
We raise cortisol, which of course we know cortisol is bad for you.

00:11:56:24 - 00:12:01:20
It creates inflammation, it shuts us down, it makes us feel like crap.

00:12:01:22 - 00:12:05:00
And that whole energy management piece doesn't work for us.

00:12:05:00 - 00:12:08:14
But when we're kind to ourselves, we we can generate what's called oxytocin

00:12:08:14 - 00:12:11:14
simply even like a soothing hug or a touch

00:12:11:14 - 00:12:14:14
that actually, helps to motivate us.

00:12:14:19 - 00:12:18:18
it also helps with things like decreasing our stress and our cortisol levels.

00:12:18:24 - 00:12:22:01
You know, if you stick to your diet, if you feel like, you know what I got,

00:12:22:02 - 00:12:24:11
have that cookie. If you think, what do I really need right now?

00:12:24:11 - 00:12:27:05
And you don't need a cookie right now, I need I need a nap.

00:12:27:05 - 00:12:28:19
Or maybe I need to get some fresh air.

00:12:28:19 - 00:12:32:12
Or maybe I need to, you know, speak to my coach and my therapist or my friend.

00:12:32:12 - 00:12:34:11
So those three things, it's a game changer.

00:12:34:11 - 00:12:37:05
When you practice self-compassion, you start to love yourself.

00:12:37:05 - 00:12:39:18
You stop doing those things that insult your soul.

00:12:39:18 - 00:12:43:04
You start doing those things that really attract what's in your highest interest.

00:12:43:04 - 00:12:43:17
That's number two.

00:12:43:17 - 00:12:44:18
Gotta love yourself.

00:12:44:18 - 00:12:46:03
Number three is energize yourself.

00:12:46:03 - 00:12:50:02
We've kind of touched on this, but briefly it's diet, movement,

00:12:50:02 - 00:12:53:16
stress and sleep and you know, learning how to manage your energy.

00:12:53:16 - 00:12:55:03
So first diet it's simple.

00:12:55:03 - 00:12:56:23
It's a whole food plant based diet.

00:12:56:23 - 00:12:59:10
Less processed foods more plants.

00:12:59:10 - 00:13:00:00
Don’t eat anything

00:13:00:00 - 00:13:01:08
Yes, your grandmother wouldn’t have eaten.

00:13:01:08 - 00:13:03:16
Make sure you're staying hydrated.

00:13:03:16 - 00:13:05:07
and it's stress management.

00:13:05:07 - 00:13:08:09
So learning like, okay, how do I manage my stress, how I manage

00:13:08:09 - 00:13:11:09
these difficult thoughts that leads to stress.

00:13:11:10 - 00:13:12:18
What stress reduction am I doing?

00:13:12:18 - 00:13:17:04
Whether that's movement, nature, meditation, yoga, whatever that is.

00:13:17:04 - 00:13:19:03
Because, you know, stress is generating cortisol.

00:13:19:03 - 00:13:22:03
Cortisol is creating inflammation.

00:13:22:03 - 00:13:24:15
And it's it's shutting down our brains and our bodies.

00:13:24:15 - 00:13:26:16
Sleep is so important, particularly at midlife.

00:13:26:16 - 00:13:28:24
Like how many of us are not sleeping well at midlife, right?

00:13:28:24 - 00:13:30:18
We've got to get good sleep.

00:13:30:18 - 00:13:33:14
So much of repair happens in sleep.

00:13:33:14 - 00:13:34:22
and then movement,

00:13:34:22 - 00:13:37:17
you know, exercise and diet, all of these things shouldn't be punitive.

00:13:37:17 - 00:13:40:20
It should be doing it because I love and care about myself and I want to feel good.

00:13:40:20 - 00:13:42:19
So managing your energy is number three.

00:13:42:19 - 00:13:45:13
Number four is reprograming your brain.

00:13:45:13 - 00:13:49:20
So I know that, Supatra you understand neuroplasticity,

00:13:50:01 - 00:13:53:19
which means that no matter your age, you can rewire your brain

00:13:54:06 - 00:13:58:11
through your thoughts, working with your emotions, and also eating the right foods.

00:13:58:11 - 00:14:02:10
There is a, connection between diet and mental health.

00:14:02:10 - 00:14:04:20
So when we have a good diet, our mental health is better.

00:14:04:20 - 00:14:07:15
When a mental health is better, we reach for the right foods.

00:14:07:15 - 00:14:11:18
So you can actually reprogram your your brain to be happier and healthier.

00:14:12:00 - 00:14:13:15
And then comes empowerment.

00:14:13:15 - 00:14:16:14
So after you've learned who who am I really?

00:14:16:14 - 00:14:17:24
What? You know what makes me tick?

00:14:17:24 - 00:14:21:16
I want to be authentic, I love myself, I'm energized.

00:14:21:16 - 00:14:22:14
I've reprogram my brain.

00:14:22:14 - 00:14:25:02
Now it's time for me to jump out of that plane

00:14:25:02 - 00:14:27:08
and do that thing that scares me, that I want to do.

00:14:27:08 - 00:14:28:13
And that might be like,

00:14:28:13 - 00:14:31:15
I want to go to a dating app, or I want to like, take that exercise class

00:14:31:15 - 00:14:35:10
and I feel a little intimidated about or I want to take, you know, that creative

00:14:35:13 - 00:14:39:24
class or write that book or change my job with empowerment.

00:14:39:24 - 00:14:44:01
We're ready to like rock and roll and make some changes in our lives.

00:14:44:01 - 00:14:46:23
And, you know, it's hard because we've got this negativity bias.

00:14:46:23 - 00:14:50:01
The brain isn't interested in us being enlightened

00:14:50:01 - 00:14:53:01
and having fun and feeling fulfilled and following our passions.

00:14:53:06 - 00:14:55:02
It wants to keep us small and safe.

00:14:55:02 - 00:15:00:09
And so we need to learn how to do those things that scare us.

00:15:00:09 - 00:15:01:23
Because that's really, you know, everything you want

00:15:01:23 - 00:15:04:23
is on the other side of fear, whether that is, you know, leaving.

00:15:05:02 - 00:15:06:21
You know, I have for me, it was like leaving a relationship

00:15:06:21 - 00:15:09:23
that wasn't working, finding a new relationship, changing.

00:15:09:23 - 00:15:12:07
You know, I'm always changing my work, doing new things.

00:15:12:07 - 00:15:13:18
But that's really where fulfillment comes.

00:15:13:18 - 00:15:16:16
So empowering yourself and the self-compassion comes in

00:15:16:16 - 00:15:19:18
because self-compassion is really a parachute and a life vest.

00:15:19:18 - 00:15:21:11
So it's a life vest.

00:15:21:11 - 00:15:25:01
So when you get a health crisis, when you do, you know, make a mistake,

00:15:25:10 - 00:15:28:08
you've got this life vest on so you can float, but it's also a parachute.

00:15:28:08 - 00:15:30:12
So when you decide you know what, I'm going to go for

00:15:30:12 - 00:15:33:12
that thing that my soul is saying, you're running out of time, woman.

00:15:33:16 - 00:15:35:16
Go and make it happen.

00:15:35:16 - 00:15:37:20
Yeah. You know, you know, if you fail. So what?

00:15:37:20 - 00:15:40:11
Failure is just a stepping stone on the road to success.

00:15:40:11 - 00:15:42:01
So that's empowerment.

00:15:42:01 - 00:15:43:17
Then we get to rehab your relationships.

00:15:43:17 - 00:15:46:09
Because what happens is you become that butterfly, right?

00:15:46:09 - 00:15:48:21
So you're fly it, you're colorful, you're having fun.

00:15:48:21 - 00:15:49:19
You feel great.

00:15:50:18 - 00:15:51:08
But the people in

00:15:51:08 - 00:15:54:08
your life, they're like, no, no, you're still the caterpillar.

00:15:54:10 - 00:15:56:24
Because we see things as we are, not as they are.

00:15:56:24 - 00:15:58:17
So what they try to do is they try to pull you back

00:15:58:17 - 00:16:00:22
in their reality, and that can really keep you stuck.

00:16:00:22 - 00:16:04:16
So you have to learn techniques to help you rehab your relationships.

00:16:04:23 - 00:16:06:09
You might have to cut some people loose.

00:16:06:09 - 00:16:07:16
And that was my situation

00:16:07:16 - 00:16:11:18
when I got divorced and really came out as my self became that butterfly.

00:16:11:21 - 00:16:16:15
I lost some friends and but I made lots of new friends who really get me for me.

00:16:16:15 - 00:16:19:24
So really learning things like nonviolent communication.

00:16:20:04 - 00:16:22:24
So getting your needs met, creating boundaries.

00:16:22:24 - 00:16:25:24
And you know, I also have my people learn to say no.

00:16:26:04 - 00:16:27:19
Saying no is saying yes to yourself.

00:16:27:19 - 00:16:30:12
So rehab your relationships and then finally enlightening yourself,

00:16:30:12 - 00:16:32:23
which is, you know, finding spiritual practices

00:16:32:23 - 00:16:36:22
that work for you in realizing you're the only person that can save you.

00:16:36:23 - 00:16:37:23
So often we, like,

00:16:37:23 - 00:16:41:17
look outside of ourselves for happiness, but you've got to look within you.

00:16:41:17 - 00:16:46:08
When you start to change your vibration and you start to resonate at a higher tone.

00:16:46:17 - 00:16:49:02
You start to manifest and attract those things

00:16:49:02 - 00:16:51:04
that are in your highest good.

00:16:51:04 - 00:16:52:22
And also you're just, you know, again,

00:16:52:22 - 00:16:57:07
you're on your path and you start to also see I'm a soul having a human experience.

00:16:57:07 - 00:17:01:05
And I think that's the big pivot with, enlightening yourself.

00:17:01:05 - 00:17:04:05
So the steps in a nutshell, but you can read more with in my book Rock

00:17:04:05 - 00:17:05:05
Your Midlife.

00:17:05:05 - 00:17:09:03
I swear, it's like seriously looking into a mirror, Ellen,

00:17:09:03 - 00:17:12:21
like you and I have very similar values.

00:17:13:06 - 00:17:18:14
I love that and I am sure everyone who's read your book loves that as well.

00:17:19:02 - 00:17:20:03
Okay, I want to read the book.

00:17:20:03 - 00:17:21:24
It's going to it's now on my list.

00:17:21:24 - 00:17:26:06
It's going to be next to my bedside table very, very soon on the pile.

00:17:26:07 - 00:17:26:16
Right.

00:17:26:16 - 00:17:29:16
That big pile of books, bedside table.

00:17:29:18 - 00:17:33:09
You mentioned earlier, that when midlife women

00:17:33:09 - 00:17:36:20
started coming to you when you were a registered dietitian working with them,

00:17:36:20 - 00:17:40:05
you noticed that they hadn't been taking care of their bodies.

00:17:40:16 - 00:17:43:16
And then with midlife, it sort of caught up with them.

00:17:43:18 - 00:17:46:16
It's so interesting that you say that, because when I got to

00:17:46:16 - 00:17:51:01
that point in my life, I thought I was taking care of myself.

00:17:51:24 - 00:17:56:03
I was doing all the things that our culture tells us to do.

00:17:56:17 - 00:18:00:01
And it's those couple of steps,

00:18:00:01 - 00:18:03:08
particularly your first couple of steps, that were missing for me,

00:18:03:19 - 00:18:07:04
and that I realized that the rules have changed

00:18:07:04 - 00:18:12:06
and I could no longer move through life without the self-compassion piece,

00:18:12:21 - 00:18:15:21
and I could no longer push myself.

00:18:16:00 - 00:18:17:16
That's what changed for me in midlife.

00:18:17:16 - 00:18:20:10
So those like, as soon as you started talking about your steps, I was like,

00:18:20:10 - 00:18:24:15
oh my God, I got to read this book because it completely makes sense to me.

00:18:24:15 - 00:18:29:16
There was so much push, push, push for me prior to going through perimenopause.

00:18:29:16 - 00:18:33:00
And it doesn't it doesn't work for you, at least for me.

00:18:33:00 - 00:18:36:22
It didn't work as I got older and it was that self-compassion piece

00:18:36:22 - 00:18:41:02
and really kind of pulling back on the intensity because I was successful,

00:18:41:02 - 00:18:45:09
I was up there and I was lonely and I felt like crap, just like you said, right?

00:18:45:09 - 00:18:48:06
So that really makes a lot of sense for me.

00:18:49:08 - 00:18:52:08
yeah, that's I got I read that book.

00:18:54:03 - 00:18:56:08
well, the good thing is that self-compassion is a muscle

00:18:56:08 - 00:18:57:06
and it's a practice.

00:18:57:06 - 00:19:00:11
And so no matter if you're listening, no matter where you are at, and I,

00:19:00:18 - 00:19:03:18
I was Type-A personality, pure self critic,

00:19:03:18 - 00:19:08:06
you know, go to the Ivy League school, get the PhD—all of the things.

00:19:08:06 - 00:19:10:16
And if I could learn it, anybody can learn.

00:19:10:16 - 00:19:11:08
And that's a beautiful thing.

00:19:11:08 - 00:19:13:16
And I think it's such a contrast of self esteem.

00:19:13:16 - 00:19:16:23
You know, we learned like in the 80s, it was all about like self esteem,

00:19:16:23 - 00:19:17:16
raising your self esteem.

00:19:17:16 - 00:19:22:16
But self esteem is evaluating yourself against yourself or somebody else.

00:19:22:16 - 00:19:24:19
And we're always going to fall short.

00:19:24:19 - 00:19:25:19
Like you have those moments

00:19:25:19 - 00:19:28:02
where you think you look great and then you realize,

00:19:28:02 - 00:19:30:15
oh my God, I've got like toilet paper on my shoe or something.

00:19:30:15 - 00:19:33:08
And I've been like going through or I've got, I've had these interviews

00:19:33:08 - 00:19:36:03
and I go like, oh my God, I've got like lipstick on my teeth.

00:19:36:03 - 00:19:39:09
It's something about, you know, your looks and you realize like, oh, self esteem.

00:19:39:09 - 00:19:41:22
I'm always evaluating myself and it can go up and down.

00:19:41:22 - 00:19:44:19
It's like riding a roller coaster to keep up as you were.

00:19:44:19 - 00:19:46:07
You know, you were saying Chantal.

00:19:46:07 - 00:19:48:09
It's just like trying to keep up.

00:19:48:09 - 00:19:51:00
But with self-compassion, there's no keeping up.

00:19:51:00 - 00:19:54:03
It just is more and more about being there for yourself.

00:19:54:03 - 00:19:58:24
It just you grow in your capacity to love yourself and be there for yourself,

00:19:59:06 - 00:20:03:06
where self esteem is very wonky and it's like being on a hamster wheel.

00:20:03:06 - 00:20:06:17
I think we're taught that right, that we have to always be better than.

00:20:07:01 - 00:20:09:18
Oh, very cultural, very much, I guess, that

00:20:09:18 - 00:20:12:08
we all get, especially as women, I think, you know, we’re also

00:20:12:08 - 00:20:14:09
told to be happy. Right? We got to be a good mom.

00:20:14:09 - 00:20:16:23
We like you remember that the En Joilie commercial?

00:20:16:23 - 00:20:17:14
I don't know if you remember.

00:20:17:14 - 00:20:20:01
You know, I'll bring home the bacon. Oh, yeah. For the pan.

00:20:20:01 - 00:20:22:12
And I can bring up the bacon.

00:20:22:12 - 00:20:25:20
Yeah, very like all that stuff I'm supposed to do.

00:20:25:20 - 00:20:27:09
Like all of these things.

00:20:27:09 - 00:20:31:12
Then, you know, and during menopause, your brain literally changes.

00:20:31:12 - 00:20:34:13
It's some great research that just came out that found that brain

00:20:34:22 - 00:20:38:18
estrogen receptors actually increase in the brain as we go through menopause.

00:20:38:18 - 00:20:41:18
Because the brain is so hungry for estrogen,

00:20:41:24 - 00:20:44:11
we get more selfish and we just don't feel good

00:20:44:11 - 00:20:46:11
and we have to start taking care of ourselves.

00:20:46:11 - 00:20:48:08
or we're just going to sink

00:20:48:08 - 00:20:49:06
Absolutely.

00:20:49:06 - 00:20:51:20
I think I think it is.

00:20:51:20 - 00:20:52:04
Yeah.

00:20:52:04 - 00:20:57:12
And I think everything that you you said including, you know, especially diet,

00:20:57:21 - 00:21:01:07
I think diet is probably one of the most important things

00:21:01:07 - 00:21:06:14
that people can look at in their midlife and adjust and change.

00:21:06:14 - 00:21:09:14
And you talk about a whole foods, plant based diet,

00:21:09:15 - 00:21:13:20
and that has been proven to be one of the healthiest diets on the planet.

00:21:14:21 - 00:21:18:12
do you find with your clients that they

00:21:19:24 - 00:21:22:14
accept it, adhere to it, or reject it?

00:21:22:14 - 00:21:25:22
I have a I have a lot of yeah, back and forth.

00:21:26:22 - 00:21:29:08
I don't think everybody's real with themselves.

00:21:29:08 - 00:21:31:19
You know what I'll see as someone will tell me, my diet's great.

00:21:31:19 - 00:21:33:03
I don't eat the standard American diet.

00:21:33:03 - 00:21:36:03
And I look at their Instagram and they're holding a Pepsi, you know,

00:21:36:03 - 00:21:39:09
so I think that there's a disconnect.

00:21:39:09 - 00:21:42:00
And I think that there's a lot of shame.

00:21:42:00 - 00:21:44:04
A lot of the people who come to me are really ashamed.

00:21:44:04 - 00:21:46:16
Like maybe they were in good shape in their 20s, in their 30s,

00:21:46:16 - 00:21:47:13
and they had a kid

00:21:47:13 - 00:21:50:14
with a little bit of weight, had a second kid put some more weight on it.

00:21:50:14 - 00:21:51:19
Hit menopause, put more weight on.

00:21:51:19 - 00:21:54:19
And what they end up doing is they go on these cockamamie

00:21:54:19 - 00:21:58:14
six week Beachbody feel look fantastic.

00:21:58:16 - 00:22:01:15
I know I love my body, I think I look great at 61,

00:22:01:15 - 00:22:05:00
but what I do is not what everybody's going to do.

00:22:05:00 - 00:22:06:00
And I love it.

00:22:06:00 - 00:22:07:07
I mean, I grow my food.

00:22:07:07 - 00:22:09:03
My my man is a master gardener.

00:22:09:03 - 00:22:12:03
I love to move my body, but it's not everybody's thing.

00:22:12:03 - 00:22:14:17
I think there's a disconnect, both with

00:22:14:17 - 00:22:17:17
how much work goes into having that body that we see on Instagram.

00:22:17:17 - 00:22:18:16
And it's doable.

00:22:18:16 - 00:22:21:17
And I think, you know, some of us who are influencers, you know, look that way.

00:22:21:17 - 00:22:22:23
And that's the way that we live.

00:22:22:23 - 00:22:26:07
But for the average person, it's really hard to do.

00:22:26:07 - 00:22:27:08
And it can feel really awkward

00:22:27:08 - 00:22:30:18
when they don't get those results and they focus it everything.

00:22:30:18 - 00:22:35:07
And I just why do we focus so much on that stupid metric of weight like I am

00:22:35:07 - 00:22:38:21
just so yes, it's an outcome, but it's like the only metric.

00:22:39:04 - 00:22:40:23
Everybody who comes to me is like, I want to lose weight.

00:22:40:23 - 00:22:42:03
I want to lose weight, I want to lose weight.

00:22:42:03 - 00:22:45:04
It's like, no, let's just focus on being healthy.

00:22:45:04 - 00:22:48:03
You know, the weight will get to where it's supposed to be if you focus on it.

00:22:48:03 - 00:22:51:00
But to answer your question, I think there's there's a disconnect.

00:22:51:00 - 00:22:56:07
And the other issue is too, is that we live in an obesogenic society culture.

00:22:56:07 - 00:22:59:14
Yes, we have, what, six 7000 calories for every man and woman.

00:22:59:14 - 00:23:02:19
And and those processed calories are diabolically

00:23:02:19 - 00:23:06:00
designed to hijack your brain to want more and more of them.

00:23:06:00 - 00:23:09:02
Can you eat one M&M or one potato chip? No.

00:23:09:02 - 00:23:12:24
And so what ends up happening to is that your microbiome

00:23:12:24 - 00:23:15:24
actually shifts when you eat a lot of junk food.

00:23:16:05 - 00:23:19:06
Your microbiome is conditioned to want

00:23:19:06 - 00:23:23:01
more junk food when you start eating, you know, probiotics.

00:23:23:01 - 00:23:27:21
So sauerkraut, kimchi, kombucha, all these foods that contain healthy

00:23:27:21 - 00:23:30:24
microorganisms and you're eating the foods to feed them,

00:23:30:24 - 00:23:34:02
which are the plant foods, then your body starts to crave kale.

00:23:34:02 - 00:23:36:18
I mean, my body feels good stuff that I don't eat like.

00:23:36:18 - 00:23:38:01
It was my anniversary yesterday.

00:23:38:01 - 00:23:41:01
We had a beautiful piece of chocolate that I brought my trip home from Spain

00:23:41:01 - 00:23:42:06
and totally enjoyed it.

00:23:42:06 - 00:23:44:16
Chocolate is also a functional food, right?

00:23:44:16 - 00:23:47:16
But my body does not crave junk.

00:23:47:20 - 00:23:50:05
My body craves healthy food. It feels good.

00:23:50:05 - 00:23:50:24
So I think that it's,

00:23:52:01 - 00:23:53:19
we have to get away from this all or nothing.

00:23:53:19 - 00:23:54:06
We're so.

00:23:54:06 - 00:23:58:08
And I know that you totally, are on board with this Supatra, about this whole idea

00:23:58:08 - 00:24:03:09
that these four, six week programs to transform are not where it's at.

00:24:03:09 - 00:24:06:07
We need to be working forever.

00:24:06:07 - 00:24:08:10
Oh, and how am I changing my life forever?

00:24:08:10 - 00:24:12:15
Or I would rather see somebody say I'm going to eat an apple for a month

00:24:12:15 - 00:24:15:21
instead of a candy bar for my 3:00 snack, or I'm going to give up soda

00:24:16:00 - 00:24:18:19
and do that for a month and keep on building and building.

00:24:18:19 - 00:24:20:24
So I think we're not,

00:24:20:24 - 00:24:24:10
we're we're not realistic about what we're actually eating and doing.

00:24:24:10 - 00:24:27:14
I think a lot of people are like, there's a lot of shame involved in it.

00:24:27:20 - 00:24:31:03
And I think we're just focusing too much on that stupid metric of weight.

00:24:31:20 - 00:24:32:01
Yeah.

00:24:32:01 - 00:24:35:14
And about also just about how possible is to shift that,

00:24:35:14 - 00:24:38:14
because I do believe my clients that it's not as easy to shift

00:24:38:14 - 00:24:42:12
as the media and as some influencers lead people to believe.

00:24:42:18 - 00:24:46:15
And we over we focus on exercise as a weight control method.

00:24:46:22 - 00:24:49:04
And the research really shows us the body adapts.

00:24:49:04 - 00:24:52:10
Exercise is not in a weight control method.

00:24:52:10 - 00:24:53:13
It's great for weight maintenance.

00:24:53:13 - 00:24:55:14
It's fantastic for your physical mental health.

00:24:55:14 - 00:24:58:21
Yeah, but it's not there to lose weight.

00:24:59:17 - 00:25:01:17
Yeah, it's definitely maintenence.

00:25:01:17 - 00:25:02:00
Yeah.

00:25:02:00 - 00:25:06:00
And many people use it as a punishment for what they ate the night before.

00:25:06:00 - 00:25:07:24
And that just that that hurts my heart

00:25:07:24 - 00:25:12:05
because like you said, if you really tune into yourself,

00:25:12:05 - 00:25:16:08
if you're really mindful, your body tells you what it likes to eat.

00:25:16:08 - 00:25:20:08
And when you listen to that and you give it what it likes to eat, it's happy.

00:25:20:14 - 00:25:25:12
And when you move it like it wants to be moved, it is also happy.

00:25:25:12 - 00:25:30:20
So I love the mindful aspect of your treatment plan for people.

00:25:30:20 - 00:25:34:24
I think that the more in-tune they are with themselves, the more they're going

00:25:34:24 - 00:25:40:07
to realize a lot of these, you know, basic tenets that you're giving them.

00:25:40:13 - 00:25:43:13
But they have to feel it for themselves first.

00:25:43:19 - 00:25:45:03
Yeah. And your mental health improves.

00:25:45:03 - 00:25:47:21
And as far as the menopausal symptoms, you know, you alluded to,

00:25:47:21 - 00:25:51:16
you know, the whole food plant based diet, these plant foods contain

00:25:51:16 - 00:25:56:22
phytochemicals, plant chemicals, some of which can, actually mimic

00:25:57:04 - 00:26:00:17
your estrogen that your body produces and so can make you feel better.

00:26:00:17 - 00:26:02:15
I mean, there's a lot of research that show that people

00:26:02:15 - 00:26:04:14
who go on Whole Foods plant based or even try,

00:26:04:14 - 00:26:08:19
you know, vegan, eat more soy, actually have fewer hot flashes.

00:26:08:19 - 00:26:11:01
And they do much better in terms of going through menopause.

00:26:11:01 - 00:26:12:22
And they do lose weight too.

00:26:12:22 - 00:26:14:22
Yeah. That's me. Yeah, that's what I did.

00:26:14:22 - 00:26:18:24
I just up soy I really like focused on whole foods, plant based

00:26:19:12 - 00:26:23:10
and, you know, no hot flashes yet.

00:26:23:10 - 00:26:25:04
I'm 51.

00:26:25:04 - 00:26:27:11
I have lost weight because of that.

00:26:27:11 - 00:26:31:17
And just naturally, I haven't changed any amount of what I've eaten.

00:26:31:17 - 00:26:34:08
I'm a big eater, so I love eating.

00:26:34:08 - 00:26:39:11
and it is really given me tons of energy, improved my sleep, you name it.

00:26:41:19 - 00:26:43:23
I was going to ask you, Dr.

00:26:43:23 - 00:26:49:14
Ellen, how you incorporate all of these lovely things that you do.

00:26:49:14 - 00:26:51:01
The psychology,

00:26:51:01 - 00:26:56:10
the psychotherapy and the the dietitian and the the mindfulness, self-compassion.

00:26:56:10 - 00:26:58:24
But I think we're getting a pretty good picture

00:26:58:24 - 00:27:02:13
of how you meld all of those wonderful things together.

00:27:02:13 - 00:27:06:11
Is there anything that you wanted to add to to let our listeners

00:27:06:11 - 00:27:09:11
know how you pull everything?

00:27:09:19 - 00:27:12:15
Yeah, well, everything works synergistically.

00:27:12:15 - 00:27:15:15
and I think that, you know, I'm that actually not a psychotherapist.

00:27:15:15 - 00:27:19:08
I don’t know if you are Supatra, I am not a psychotherapist, I'm a coach.

00:27:19:08 - 00:27:22:03
And so, I think psychotherapy is fantastic.

00:27:22:03 - 00:27:23:07
There's a place for it.

00:27:23:07 - 00:27:26:11
But as a coach, my training is really seeing you as whole

00:27:26:11 - 00:27:27:18
and having the answers.

00:27:27:18 - 00:27:33:00
And so my job is to help you to visualize

00:27:33:06 - 00:27:36:10
and really get a picture of what do you want your life to be like?

00:27:36:10 - 00:27:37:16
What do you want your health to be like?

00:27:37:16 - 00:27:39:18
What do you want your, your mental health?

00:27:39:18 - 00:27:40:18
Your physical health?

00:27:40:18 - 00:27:42:21
What do you want your relationships to look like?

00:27:42:21 - 00:27:44:01
What do you want your work to look like?

00:27:44:01 - 00:27:47:04
What's the best possible self that you can imagine?

00:27:47:15 - 00:27:50:23
And using all kinds of tools and figuring out how do you get from

00:27:50:23 - 00:27:54:15
where you are now to where do you want to be as quickly as possible?

00:27:55:06 - 00:27:59:13
with a lot of compassion on my part, you know, but but also,

00:28:00:03 - 00:28:03:03
motivation and accountability.

00:28:03:07 - 00:28:06:11
and really being, you know, it's coaching is like a dance,

00:28:06:11 - 00:28:09:07
you know, letting my client lead and I would say one other technique

00:28:09:07 - 00:28:12:09
that I've recently added to my quiver is, heart math.

00:28:12:09 - 00:28:16:10
I don't know if you're familiar with heart math, but it's, really amazing,

00:28:16:21 - 00:28:20:22
very easy techniques that allow you to,

00:28:21:12 - 00:28:24:22
create, resilience, which is your capacity

00:28:24:22 - 00:28:29:10
to have more energy by, what we do is we shift your emotions on a grid.

00:28:29:10 - 00:28:32:23
So imagine, if you will, on the left are all of your difficult emotions.

00:28:32:23 - 00:28:34:17
I don't believe in negative or positive emotions.

00:28:34:17 - 00:28:36:09
I believe in challenging emotions.

00:28:36:09 - 00:28:39:15
They all have, all have use in our lives.

00:28:39:22 - 00:28:44:04
So your challenging emotions, your fear, your anxiety or depression, grief,

00:28:44:04 - 00:28:49:01
sadness, anger and with heart math, what you do is through these very,

00:28:49:10 - 00:28:54:01
easy techniques that you can learn, you create what's called heart coherence.

00:28:54:01 - 00:28:58:20
And so you are your brain, your heart and your emotions all come together

00:28:59:04 - 00:29:02:19
and, it your heart rate variability, you get a very smooth

00:29:02:19 - 00:29:07:06
kind of curve instead of being kind of, overwhelmed and frenetic.

00:29:07:06 - 00:29:10:02
You know, we we feel really stressed out. You just feel like all over the map.

00:29:10:02 - 00:29:12:02
I think we feel that a lot at midlife.

00:29:12:02 - 00:29:15:05
And when we're going through menopause getting much smoother, simply

00:29:15:12 - 00:29:17:17
just breathing, you know, locating your heart,

00:29:18:23 - 00:29:19:15
breathing into the

00:29:19:15 - 00:29:23:10
area of your chest, creating, a little, little slower,

00:29:23:11 - 00:29:27:16
deeper than normal and then just thinking about someone or something,

00:29:28:06 - 00:29:31:02
that raises your, your emotions.

00:29:31:02 - 00:29:34:02
So that brings compassion, love, peace.

00:29:34:02 - 00:29:39:06
Just by doing that, even for just like 20 30s, you could shift your vibration.

00:29:39:16 - 00:29:40:17
so that's one technique

00:29:40:17 - 00:29:42:21
that I've really started to use it with, with great results,

00:29:42:21 - 00:29:44:20
that helps people tap into their intuition.

00:29:44:20 - 00:29:47:20
It's a great technique that people can do along with self-compassion.

00:29:47:23 - 00:29:50:23
Micro doses throughout the day,

00:29:51:00 - 00:29:54:08
you know, to keep your energy balanced instead of being all over the map.

00:29:55:02 - 00:29:56:07
I love it.

00:29:56:07 - 00:29:59:13
I love what I love about that technique is this body up,

00:29:59:13 - 00:30:01:17
brain down combining, right.

00:30:01:17 - 00:30:04:00
So you're the breathing piece, is that body up?

00:30:04:00 - 00:30:06:16
And then you're thinking about somebody who helps you

00:30:06:16 - 00:30:09:16
raise your vibration, your frequency, and that's that brain down.

00:30:09:16 - 00:30:11:10
So I love the combo there.

00:30:11:10 - 00:30:16:07
I love that you mentioned, you know body up because so 80% is body up.

00:30:16:15 - 00:30:20:13
Your heart is like your heart develops before your brain for a reason.

00:30:20:13 - 00:30:20:20
Right?

00:30:20:20 - 00:30:24:24
Your heart is so in tuned with everything that's going on.

00:30:24:24 - 00:30:26:09
And you know, we haven't talked that much

00:30:26:09 - 00:30:29:09
about the gut and the, you know, the microbiome, but

00:30:29:09 - 00:30:33:21
80% is going from your gut to your brain only 20 is a brain to your gut.

00:30:34:04 - 00:30:38:07
So managing your got, you know, connecting with your heart

00:30:38:17 - 00:30:42:14
is going to give you much better physical and mental health and give you you know,

00:30:42:14 - 00:30:45:18
I guess I think this sense of control that you know, what I you know,

00:30:45:18 - 00:30:49:24
I can't exactly control my thoughts, but I can control that that place

00:30:49:24 - 00:30:50:22
between my thought

00:30:50:22 - 00:30:54:17
and the emotion and what emotions do I want to be vibrating with in my life?

00:30:54:17 - 00:30:55:09
And again,

00:30:55:09 - 00:30:58:20
from that Law of Attraction perspective, we'll bring a little woo into it.

00:30:59:01 - 00:31:03:21
In quantum physics, when you are vibrating at a higher rate, you just attract

00:31:03:21 - 00:31:07:11
and you, you literally see those things that are going to be good for your life.

00:31:08:04 - 00:31:08:20
Oh, I love it.

00:31:08:20 - 00:31:12:15
Well, you are absolutely high vibe Dr.

00:31:12:15 - 00:31:15:00
Ellen, and it is so wonderful

00:31:15:00 - 00:31:19:13
to just sit here in front of you and absorb everything and, you know, just

00:31:19:13 - 00:31:23:22
to get a good picture about what you do with people and how you help them heal.

00:31:24:10 - 00:31:28:05
We are out of time for this half, though, so Chantal.

00:31:29:07 - 00:31:30:10
We are excited

00:31:30:10 - 00:31:33:10
to talk to you again for the next episode.

00:31:33:10 - 00:31:35:13
Really excited to hear more.

00:31:35:13 - 00:31:38:04
thank you all for joining us.

00:31:38:04 - 00:31:40:15
Tune in next week for the second half

00:31:40:15 - 00:31:43:19
of this wonderful interview with Midlife Whisperer Dr.

00:31:43:19 - 00:31:44:21
Ellen Albertson.

00:31:47:02 - 00:31:51:00
Thanks for tuning into the ANEW Body Insight podcast.

00:31:51:07 - 00:31:54:19
Please remember, the content shared on this podcast is for entertainment

00:31:54:19 - 00:31:57:21
purposes only and does not constitute medical advice.

00:31:58:06 - 00:31:59:08
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00:32:03:15 - 00:32:05:15
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